“Whisky-A-Tuk-Tuk” or “Why You Need To Visit Islay”

by Matthew DeGroat

I don’t know what you did this morning. Maybe you had your wheaties and a cup of tea. Maybe you did some early morning yoga while you watched the news. Maybe you woke to an alarm, said fuck the world, and went back to your slumber, for which, I truly admire you. As for me, I was on my very first Tuk Tuk ride, in the total darkness of the pre-sun morning, and no, I am not currently in Southeast Asia. I am in Scotland.

It couldn’t have happened on accident. There were clearly a series of events leading up to this, and into where I am right now — A cruise ship sized ferry-boat back to the mainland; and before you get all judgy and sarcastically utter “oh it must be nice”, this two hour sunrise boat cruise (with full restaurant and lounges galore) only cost seven dollars a ticket, the same price as your shitty morning Starbucks, without the views. But I digress. Let me go back to last Sunday night, at the Single Malt Scotch Whisky Society in Edinburgh.

Finally, getting back to Scotland for the first time since before the pandemic — Graeme had always said he wanted to take me to ‘the whisky society’, us both being really big whisky fans and all (and when I say whisky, I am referring to the good stuff — Scotland’s finest, single malts)

*before i continue, i need to interrupt just to report how wildly choppy the water is today. this boat is many meters up and many meters down, on and on every five seconds. the sea is absolutely raging…